Today is the last day we are in town before we leave for Japan. We are likely going to be flying around the house like bats with an ear infection, desperately verifying every last detail, even though we’ve been mostly packed for weeks in anticipation.
Today’s flavor is one of comparison. Jamie and I have walked together–sometimes arm-in-arm, sometimes one ahead and the other lagging behind–for more than seven years now. She proposed two weeks after we started dating, and I waited three and a half years to propose back. It has been an adventure, and one I will share with you, on a small level, here in this blog.
When we started dating, Jamie wouldn’t eat any kind of fish, raw or cooked. She wouldn’t touch onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, any kind of squash, eggplant. She never cooked and probably usually ate a meal a day because there was never food in the house.
To get her eating fish, I grilled salmon with a lemon garlic sauce and served with linguini and tomato alfredo. She was hooked. I still have a hard time getting her to eat mushrooms or shrimp/lobster, but as we have grown together (and gotten attached to various world cuisines) her palate has grown.
When we started dating, I tucked in my giant tshirts and wore baggy jeans that didn’t fit right. Jamie introduced me to the novelty of a more metro look, complete with pants and shirts that fit well. I certainly look less like the basement shut-in reject that I did previously. She also made me get rid of my button down silk shirts. Yeah, those were terrible, in retrospect. No more 70s fashion for me.
My point is not that relationships are compromise–although in many ways they are. For a relationship to be healthy, I have found that both members need to be willing to grow into each other. Part of the point of having someone to love is having a second pair of eyes, someone to watch your back, to groom you–in the way of monkeys and bunnies–and to apply pressure where pressure should be. The feeling is mutual.
So, Jamie, my love, I promise to write cheesy haiku for you, if you promise to help me find my socks. I promise never to toss your bra too far to locate. I hope you help me carry the groceries, and I will fix the plumbing and your laptop. If you do the daytime driving, I’ll do the night driving. I’ll get up in the middle of the night if you promise to change the dirty diapers. I’ll talk about the tough stuff, if you make sure I’m not too tough. And I will love you, even if you’re having a bad day or your hair is a mess or you forgot your makeup or got something on your nose, or watched sitcoms all day. As long as you promise to love me even if I had a bad day at work, or forgot to get milk at the grocery store, or squished a spider with my bare hands, or tracked mud in the house, or played too many video games this week.