Monday: Relationships: The Climb

Today is another filler post, but I’ll let you in on a little secret–tonight, or really early tomorrow morning, we’re doing a kind of wedding vow renewal on top of Fujisan (mount Fuji).

You might ask–why renew vows you just exchanged two years ago? For that matter, why make a pretty box and fill it with old and new love letters to each other, and then seal it to open ten years later?

The answer is simpler than the execution. Because we all need reminding sometimes. I have heard it said that if you can tell people why you love someone, it’s not really love. That’s true of infatuation, but that stuff only lasts as long as your hormones can keep you lusting after your lover. For some of us that time is longer or shorter, but when the fire cools down, there have to be reasons–or your other half, the (don’t laugh) logical and structured half, will win over the desires of your heart. When people say they’ve “fallen out of love” it’s more like they’ve fallen out of lust.
Don’t get me wrong. Lust and the need for sexual expression is a powerful and driving force that can carry you through for a while. But you need a core backbone to that. Love at first sight is a tough gig.

So, back to the mountain. We’re climbing Mt Fuji. At the top, right after sunrise (which is supposed to be a lifetime of good luck or something like that), I’ll present Jamie with this really interesting pseudo-Pandora style necklace that I’ve put together for her. She keeps telling me–hinting in her casual way–that she kinda likes those cheesy mother necklaces where you add a charm for each kid. I think the paper doll style charms are ugly, so I designed a necklace for her by putting together other pieces. It has a goddess symbol in lotus position to represent Jamie, a Celtic triquetra knot to represent me, and a silver stylized A with a tanzanite dangle bead to represent Aubri in the middle. Then I interspersed big glass beads with interesting patterns to form a rainbow. Sortof. They aren’t quite the right colors. But I have extra beads, just in case she wants to change it up.

Unfortunately, she knows there is a surprise because she opened one of the boxes–fortunately, she didn’t see anything. Hopefully throughout the course of this trip, she’s forgotten about the boxes… She likes surprises.

I wrote a cheesy series of haiku to go along with the cheesy life necklace. If I get time while we’re gallivanting across Japan, I’ll update this post before it goes live, so you can all see how nerdy I am when I’m revisiting our love. The moral of this story is an easy one: Leave sticky notes. Send text messages. Tell your partner why you appreciate them. Believe me, it will help keep the fire alive if they know why you love them/think they are sexy/want them around. It’s good for everyone. And sexting isn’t just for new relationships. Be creative.

 

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